This is going to fun!
I have to admit, I think the Maryland Vehicle Emissions Inspection is largely just another "tax", but I abide by laws so begrudgingly I take my vehicles every two years using the self service kiosk, which can be frustrating - but hey, in the end it does seem to work and saves $4.00.
This morning I decided to take my truck (which i rarely drive these days) to the VEIP test site. After several attempts with the fvcking credit card reader, I finally was able to proceed and run the test. Yay me! Oh not so fast tough guy. Got some communication failure message, turn vehicle back off, disconnect and re-connect test cable, turn engine on again ....
And again, test seems to proceed, finally prompts me to turn engine off, disconnect test device, etc. Completed all and then I get this final message that "The kiosk is not able to communicate with your vehicle, fee will be refunded, blah blah".
Ok, so totally frustrated, I now line up at the test line, of course I'm early, place is not open yet, so wasting my fvcking time ...
Test site opens, I'm first in line, pull the vehicle in, explained that I had self-service kiosk issues. Guy assured me he'll have me in an out in no time. And bam, his equipment could not communicate and "test" my vehicle. He asked if I drive it much, I said I never drive it. His reply "Yeah, there is no driving history, you didn't pass or fail, we'll credit back your fee, drive the vehicle for 2 weeks or so and then bring it back." He sent me to the office so that I could get an extension since I would be past due if I drive it for the next 2 weeks.
REALLY? What are you testing for? I thought this was to test emissions? Wouldn't that be right here, right now, what emissions is my vehicle emitting? Very interesting. Should this be concerning? What "other" data about my driving history are you pulling?
I think I'm not going to let this go citing the following:
1. If I don't drive my vehicle, it is not emitting anything - PASS
2. Can the State of MD mandate how much or how little I drive my registered and insured vehicle? I think not - PASS
3. Test the vehicles' emissions. Don't "test" my driving history. - PASS
I will update this as warranted. Curious to see how far I can take this ...